My Dad died December 2, 1984 of a massive heart attack in his sleep. He
was my very best friend, and I thought I would never hurt that much again,
but then December 31, 1997 my Mom died after a year of battling cancer.
For most of the year that she was sick and could not stay by herself, I
stayed with her, during that time I discovered that even though we didn't
always agree with one another she was really a wonderful person and was
also my very best friend. I have missed her much more than I ever thought
I really enjoyed your web page, and I know I will be back many times
before the holiday season is over! May God bless you!
The sand of time are running low
And soon my children I must go
My heart with love for you is filled
But soon its beating must be stilled
I leave no treasures of any kind
Only my love I leave behind
Take it and share it between sister and brother
And always be kind to one another
Weep not beside the grave for me
Don't bring me flowers I cannot see
Only ashes lie neath the cold sod
Just pray that my soul has gone with God
Some of you perhaps may weep
When my eyes are closed in eternal sleep
But try to remember it won't be forever
For God can bring our spirits together
I pray that I go to a world far above
To be with the others that I love
And to wait awhile on that Heavenly plain
Until the day we shall meet again.
The poem was written by Florence McInnes (my mother) Sent in by David Richard
I believe that a lot of what we carry around is grief for those people
and things that we haven't yet let go of. I guess that's from personal
experience. Anyway, here's a quote you can use anywhere you wish, as if
you needed more . . .
"If you were once connected with someone, does it make sense that the
connection is broken just because of a physical death? No, the
connection stays. You may just have to listen differently. You may just
have to talk differently. The truth is: the connection is never broken.
It's quite impossible to break the most powerful connection in the
universe. As long as you exist, the connection stays."
If tears could build a stairway and memories were a lane,
We would walk all the way to Heaven, to bring you home again
No farewell words were spoken, no time to say good-bye
You were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why
Our hearts ache in sadness, and secret tears will flow
What is meant to lose you, no one will ever know
Anonymous Sent in by Kristin Butner --- Virginia
I sent you an email earlier today. Then, while surveying your site, I found
the area for those who have lost loved ones. I would like to contribute a
verse God gave me a couple of months ago in hope that it will be a comfort
2 Cor. 1:3-5
Surrounded by friends
yet all alone
the one I loved
God has called home
the hugs of friends
helps ease the pain
and I know my loss
is my loved one's gain
but tears now flow
across my face
as I long for just
one more embrace
then comfort comes
and I see Christ's face
He hugs my loved one
and I feel God's grace.
Contributed by Bruce Cullom
Below is another verse that came to me at the grave site of my pastor's wife last year. She was 47 and died with cancer -
leaving two children. It was as though she was saying this to me. I had this verse framed for my pastor and he said it helped him get through the difficult times.
MY NEW PAGE
(For Judy Creek)
My page has turned
a chapter's closed
a brand new page
for me unfolds
and my new page
will never turn
nor for the old page
will I yearn
for my new page
is Heaven, you see
I'm home with Jesus
Sent in by Bruce Cullom
THE MOST CARING CHILD
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed into his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing I just helped him cry."
Sent in by Martha Varzaly --- Pennsylvania
This is a beautiful poem that comforted me greatly when my uncle
You would know the secret of death?
But how shall you find it
unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day
cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death,
open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one,
even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires
lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow
your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams,
for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd
when he stands before the king
whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling,
that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind
and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing,
but to free the breath from its restless tides,
that it may rise and expand
and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence
shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top,
then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs,
then shall you truly dance.
Excerpt from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran Contributed by Skai Rusis --- California
With Loving Memory to Shelley Mialki
We love you and will never be able to forget you
"Some people make the world special just by being in it."
Author Unknown Sent in by Courtney Montony --- Pennsylvania
This is a poem that really helped me with the death of my 17 year old cousin. If you think that there is any way this could help anyone else, please add it. Please don't put my name on this. I want it to be anonymous.
"I'll lend you for a little while,
a child of mine" God said,
"for you to love the while she lives,
and mourn for when she's dead.
It may be two or three short years,
or twenty-two or three,
but will you, till I call her back,
take care of her for me?
She'll bring her charms to gladden you,
and should her stay be brief,
you'll have her lovely memories
as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay,
since all from earth return,
but there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over
in my search for teacher's true,
and from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
I have selected you.
Now will you give her all your love?
Nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to call,
to take her back again?"
God fancied he heard the parent's say,
"Dear Lord, thy will be done.
For all the joy the child shall bring,
the risk of grief I'll run.
I'll shelter her with tenderness,
I'll love her while I may,
and for the happiness I've known
forever grateful I'll stay.
But should the angels call for her,
much sooner than I planned,
I'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
and try to understand."
I just wanted to thank you for this wonderful site.
My mother passed away in 1994, three weeks after she found out that she had cancer. It was devastating to me, and I feel as if I will never heal.
My mother was everything to me.....my teacher, my counselor, my cheerleader, my caretaker; but most of all, my best friend.
I cannot even explain my feelings of loss....never has anything hurt this bad. Not a day goes by that she is not in my thoughts, and I just wish I could've held her one more time and told her how much she meant to me.
I can only hope to leave the kind of impression on my children that my mom has left with me....I was blessed to be given this special person as my mom.
God bless her and keep her...............with all my love.
Thank you for letting me share with you.....
(For My Pop-Pop)
God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not meant to be,
So he put his arms around you
and whispered "Come to Me".
With tearful eyes we watched you,
as we saw you pass away.
Although we loved you deeply,
we could not make you stay.
Your Golden Heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.
The sun is up spreading its golden sunshine across the floor
Hear the sound of small feet running fast as they can to the door
Big eyes looking through the window to make sure there's no rain
He grabs his tonka truck in tiny hands, forgetting he is still in PJs
And runs for his island of mystery and imagination, the sandbox
Where all his fantasies are played out in grand adventures in his mind
You can see him as he talks to all the unseen characters and players
The real world long forgotten as lives in this one, until the call to eat.
Scrambling in, not wanting to wash, telling of all his wonderful time
These are some of the memories causing tears to fall from sad eyes now
For this small child has been taken away forever
Now by a stupid selfish act
On this earth he smiles and plays and runs and hugs and loves no longer
The pain of his leaving tears at the very fabric of the hearts
Of those love him
Remembering the innocence of his laugh
And the glow of wonder in his eyes
The child hears strange sounds and stops for a minute,
It sounds like crying
He stands up and looks around his huge golden sandbox
Full of wonderful toys
For he was playing again,
Playing in his own little world of great imagination
At the edge of his sandbox he finds no lawn,
Instead nothing there but clouds
And he can see all those who love them,
They are right there, almost touching
He does not understand why they are crying,
But he does know they are there
He waves and goes back to his toys,
His beautiful new sandbox in the clouds
He feels no pain, no sadness,
For this is a place where only peace can live
Where the sun is always bright, soft breezes blow gently, and all is love
He will play happily, and though the years pass slowly on our earth
To him it will be but only the space of a moment until the reuniting comes
And he runs happily into the arms of those who loved him so very much.
Copyright 9-27-1998 Ernie ( in memory of a murdered child )
I read the section, "Helping us through the pain, Helping us through
the grief," and remembered a letter that I had, that you might want to
use. Here it is:
A letter written by Benjamin Franklin to his niece on the death of his
February 23, 1756
"I condole with you. We have lost a most dear and valuable relation.
But it is the will of God and nature that these mortal bodies be laid
aside when the soul is to enter into real life. This is rather an
embryo state, a preparation for living. A man is not completely born
until he is dead. Why then should we grieve that a new child is born
among the immortals, a new member added to their happy society?
We are Spirits. That bodies should be lent us, while they can afford
us pleasure, assist us in acquiring knowledge, or in doing good to our
fellow creatures, is a kind and benevolent act of God. When they
become unfit for these purposes, and afford us pain instead of
pleasure, instead of aid become an encumbrance, and answer none of the
intentions for which they were given, it is equally kind and benevolent
that a way is provided by which we may rid of them. Death is that way.
We ourselves, in some cases, prudently choose a partial death. A
mangled painful limb which cannot be restored, we willingly cut off.
He who plucks out a tooth parts with it freely, since the pain goes
with it; and he who quits the whole body, parts at once with all pains
and possibilities of pain and diseases which it was liable to, or
capable of making him suffer.
Our friend and we are invited abroad on a party of pleasure which is to
last forever. His chair was ready first, and he is gone before us. We
could not all conveniently start together; and why should you and I be
grieved at this, since we are soon to follow, and know where to find
I hope you have a wonderful and blessed week. God bless you. Sent in by Barbara Barker --- Texas and Rev. Frankie L. Perdue
I noticed on your site wherein you have a link for poetry that lifts the spirits of those suffering from grief. I want to share with you a poem I co-authored (God gave me the words) entitled, "May You Have Peace."
Feel free to use it as it has a good deal of personal meaning for me as my grandfather recently passed away. Again, use it if you feel it merits being placed on this link for those experiencing grief.
I woke one morning early and the poem was written in a matter of minutes and hence, I know the words found within the poem were provided me by our gracious and loving God. I hope that you find meaning in it. With much humility and respect, Brian...
MAY YOU HAVE PEACE
I cannot say that I know, just how you feel
For your hurt is so great, and will take God's touch to heal
Yet is it possible for such a wound, to completely ever mend
When you've lost your mate, parent, child or good friend
Please know that I pray for you, each and every day
And feel God's Holy Spirit, in small and simple ways
And then I am reminded, of such a simple phrase
With all the strength that's in you, please walk by faith
So come to me and talk about, anything you feel
For I'll be here in body, but Christ will soon reveal
That while it is impossible, for a friend to end your pain
HE will bring about a peace, and in your hurt sustain
Someone who died in their thirties
Who traveled about doing good
Whose hand touched the leprous, the outcast
Was criticized, misunderstood
Someone who loved little children
And often gathered them around
Wherever people were hurting
Such tender compassion was found
Someone who drew the great masses
Yet had time for just one or two
Who hated all falsehood and lying
And said so, outspokenly, too
Someone who wept with the weepers
Brought joy to the rich and the poor
Who spoke with compassionate feeling
And acted the same, what is more
Do I speak of the Princess of Wales?
Men say this of her, it is true
But remember that she was not perfect
And let people down sometimes, too
I remember a love that is greater -
For she, like us all, made mistakes -
The One who, though God, lived among us
Then suffered and died for our sakes
For Jesus our Lord left His riches
Became poor and lived on this earth
That we might, by faith and repentance
Gain riches of Heavenly worth
As we honor the life of Diana
May the love-light she lit not grow dim
Yet it is but a feeble reflection
Of the honor and love we owe Him.
I wish you were here for me mom, sometimes I feel lonely. You died 20 years
ago and I still have you on my mind. I just wanted to tell you that I
still love you mom.
Mayra Spreng ---Puerto Rico
When those we love go away, they never really leave us;
they are with us now, wherever we are.
Those whom we have cherished, live on forever,
for love wraps itself around the heart.
Although it's difficult now,
someday beyond our tears and all the world's wrongs;
beyond the clouds and all that we can see and touch,
we shall all understand.
I got this from a card I saw in a store and I bought the card without
having anyone to give it to just because it touched me so deeply.
It sounds as if you're extremely busy, so I thank you for taking the
time to read this. Good luck, and take care!