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HELPING THROUGH THE GRIEF

PAGE 40



 

December 15, 2009

"When someone we love dies, it seems as if time stands still. And silence... a quiet sadness... often can be felt, not just heard, a longing for one more day... one more word... one more touch... And we may not understand why God chose to have him leave this earth so soon, or why he had to leave before we were ready to say goodbye, but little by little, we will begin to remember not just that he died, but that he lived. And that his life gave us memories too beautiful to forget. We will see him again someday, in a heavenly place where there is no parting. A place where there are no words that mean goodbye."

Author Unknown
Submitted by S. Jones --- Pennsylvania
This one helped me a lot when my brother passed away

December 15, 2009

"She lived for those she loved and those she loved remember."

Author Unknown
Submitted by Mhairi S. --- Scotland
My mother died suddenly and left a huge space in our lives. These few words summed up the most important part in hers.

December 15, 2009

"God thought he needed my daughter, I need her more, I will not survive without China Lin."

L.B. (her mother)

December 15, 2009

"If you are willing to die for a man, he is not worth it. If you are willing to live for a man, he is worth it."

L.Z.O.
My husband asked me for a divorce 2 weeks ago and I do not want to live any longer. This thought came to my mind as my shower was washing away my tears.

December 15, 2009

My son died 6 years ago and I have not stopped asking why. He was a poet and died as result of helping others. One of his poems keeps me going.

As I Kneel On My Cold Hardwood Floor
I Ask God A Question
I Get No Answer
I'll Ask Again Tomorrow
Copyright © 2000 Robert Batz Jr.


Submitted by Robert Batz
This keeps me asking and waiting for the tomorrow I get my answer. I know it will come and that thought helps.

December 15, 2009

My 16 year old daughter was involved in a tragic accident and in a coma for 4 months. She came out of the coma, only to find out she would never talk again, walk or function like a normal person again.

After the accident I met someone, fell in love but never dealt with the pain of my daughter's accident.I was angry, sad, depressed, irritable, unable to focus on anything properly.

I asked the woman I was in love with (in a whim) to move out... I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me... No focus... I lost my daughter to a tragic event and now I have lost the woman I am in love with.

Losing everything put me in a place where I had to find some answers for myself.

Well I found the answers: I never accepted the tragic event that placed my daughter in this position. How could I be so mean and out of touch with the world around me?

Now I'm pondering my own life, praying for hope and forgiveness and hoping the woman I am in love with will find it within her heart to understand my grief... God help me.

C.T.

December 15, 2009

I lost my mother suddenly to a hemorrhagic stroke almost 3 months ago now. There are good days and really, really bad days, but the thing that keeps me going is trying to do what she would want, which is to continue helping others and keep smiling.

Inspirational quotes have always helped me through the most difficult times in my life. This quote was found in a book I read "How Will I Get Through The Holidays?" I hope it helps some of you through these next couple holiday months.


"I have known many blessings in my life. I have lost, but I have also gained.
I have hurt, but I have also healed. I have struggled, but I have also loved. And I have been loved. I know I still have more to experience, more to change, more to grow. For all that I have been given in ever so many ways, I know that I am blessed. And I am thankful."

Quote from James E. Miller, How Will I Get Through The Holidays?
Submitted by Chelsea S. --- California
It gives me hope and reminds me of how my mom enriched and touched my life in a way that has made me who I am, and it reminds me to be thankful of the memories that I will always have of her. Just because she is no longer physically next to me, she will always be a part of me and our connection will continue to grow, maybe even in a deeper way.

December 15, 2009

"Amidst all this, God is still able; a God who created the universe from nothing, healed the sick, and rained down manna. He is able to handle your situation, for he is God."

Author Unknown
Submitted by Lindiwe Dhlamini --- England
In my troubles, I have seen him move.

December 15, 2009

"Alway remember "there is a reason for everything". If anything happens in a good way or bad way, we must ask ourselves "Why?" and try to balance it and quickly come to normal life as neither happiness nor sorrow lasts forever for anybody!"

Written in 2009 by Chavan De Silva --- Sri Lanka

December 15, 2009

"In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unaware. The older have learned to ever expect it. I am anxious to afford some alleviation of your present distress. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You can not now realize that you will ever feel better. Is not this so? And yet it is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again. Remember in the depth and even the agony of despondency, that very shortly you are to feel well again. To know this, which is certainly true, will make you some less miserable now. I have had experience enough to know what I say; and you need only to believe it, to feel better at once."

Abraham Lincoln (1862)
Submitted by Kiran Kamthe --- India
These lines form a part of one condolence letter. Abraham Lincoln wrote this beautiful letter of condolence to Fanny McCullough, the daughter of William McCullough who was the former clerk of the McClean County Circuit Court in Bloomington, Illinois. McCullough knew Abraham Lincoln well.

Fanny could remember when she was a child Lincoln would hold her and her sister Nanny on his knees. During the Civil War McCullough, a Black Hawk War veteran, enlisted in the Fourth Illinois Cavalry, and he was killed in a battle near Coffeeville, Mississippi, on December 5, 1862. Mutual friends of Lincoln and McCullough informed the president of Fanny's depression over her father's death. With the help of Lincoln's letter, Fanny eventually recovered, married, and lived until 1920.

December 15, 2009

Don't cry because I'm gone
Be glad I'm no longer in pain
Don't cry because I died
Be glad I'm with mom and dad now
Don't cry because my Kitty is alone
Be glad she has her children
Dont cry for God has taken me
Be glad that one day we will all be together again

Copyright © 2009 Gerard Doucette
I wrote from my heart, in memory of my dad

November 17, 2009

When my mom died February 27,2009, after a year long battle with cancer, I lost it & got real depressed. My mom was like my best friend; I held her hand until she stopped breathing. It was the hardest thing in my life I ever had to go through.

Written in 2009 by Kenisha Shaw --- Oklahoma
After viewing this site, it gave me a little hope that things will get better & just to keep pushing.

November 17, 2009

"I never lost when I was alone because you were with me. But I lost when everybody was with me."

With unconditional LOVE & PEACE,
George Stephenu

after my beloved wife died

November 17, 2009

"Searching and thinking of what can or could go wrong in the future with life, makes the present more bad than the future gone wrong. Even worse is having the knowledge that nothing ever could go wrong but still disbelieve the true overwhelming fact of it, due to the unforgivable negative past."

Written in 2009 by Konrad Clue --- United Kingdom
I felt like this and wrote my own quote.

November 17, 2009

"If we keep thinking about our past steps, with every step that we take, life will become more and more difficult... but if we think about our future, with every step that we take, life will become lighter and lighter."

Written in 2009 by Vishal Vikram --- India
It came to my mind while I was pondering over "why people suffer?"

November 17, 2009

The Price of Freedom

A ghostly image of a soldier
stood in the background,
as a mother with a babe in her
arms stood by a grave site.

She lowly whispered, "Father
this is your Son. Son this is your
Father. He gave his life so that
others might live."

Copyright © Shirley Smothers
Being a Woman and a Veteran I realize that women die and leave behind families. I wrote this poem before women were allowed into battle. Let's not forget our active, retired and dead veterans who have made sacrifices for all of us.

November 17, 2009

"Each departed friend is a magnet that attracts us to the next world."

Author Unknown
Submitted by Lorraine U. --- Michigan
I lost a guy I was seeing at work on Sept 28 2009. We were seeing one another and we did not tell anyone at work about it. We were the best of friends - talked every day! On the day he died I did not hear from him at all that day before work. We use to talk before we had to start the day. As I was going on with my day I kept calling him, leaving a voice mail asking where he was at and that I was worried. Later on I was working and the other lady I work with came up to me asking me if I heard what happen to Steve? She did not know we were seeing one another. She then told me he all the sudden died at home, right before he was planning on coming into work - his heart stopped. When she told me this, I remember I could not even stand! My heart Sank. I will never get over the pain, but this Quote makes me feel a little better, whenever I feel down.

November 17, 2009

"When I think about this life, I realize all we need just positive attitude in GOD."

Written in 2009 by William Johnson Tjan --- Indonesia

November 17, 2009

"There is nothing more disheartening when you look at a man straight in the eyes and see despair in his soul; It is even worst when you realize that you are the person on the other side of the mirror!"

Written in 2009 by Cpl B, --- California
I wrote this quote because I realize that my soul is filled with despair after coming back from Iraq, as if I lost a part of me that what makes me human.

November 17, 2009

"Strength is our will to move on, so think of today like no other because yesterday is gone and we only stand stronger."

Copyright © 2009 Chris Delsordo

November 17, 2009

What Is Hope?

Hope is believing for a better day. Hope is believing in yourself and your abilities! Hope is knowing that God is there and that he will strengthen the hearts of those who seek him!

Without hope, we have no motivation. Without hope, we are lost because we have no goals, expectations, nor beliefs.

Hoping in other people is believing that they are capable of changing. Hoping is not giving up. Hope is consistent. Hope never ends or reaches its conclusion. Hope is looking at the past, present, and future.

Hope is believing that our sins have not ruined our chances of entering the promise land. Hope is knowing that Jesus Christ walked the earth.

Hope is knowing that we can change the lives of other people! Hope is knowing that we are capable of accomplishing all of our goals.

Hope is a part of life!

Copyright © 2009 Ethen Carrell

November 17, 2009

Our earthly loss is always a heavenly gain
Although our hearts hurt and mourn in humanly pain
The fact still remains the same
That Heaven Has Gained more Love
To sprinkle down from above

Copyright © 2009 Antonio Talbert
Hold on and know this too shall pass. Cherish the memories.



"Heads up hearts strong, there's nothing wrong with cherishing the sweet smelling flavors of memories. Memories sooth our mind's taste/memory buds. Memories remind us of pleasant moments that we have downloaded into our memory bank for moments like this.

Gain strength from what was, as though it is now, to help you get over rough times/moments. Cherishing memories helps you to better understand the importance of cherishing your today, today! Remembering memories of past pleasant moments helps you to have a healthier and happier future driven from memories of those things you drew strength from. Breathe easy reminiscing!"

Copyright © 2009 Antonio Talbert
Don't let go; be strong!November 17, 2009

Daddy, even though I loved you dear
You now walk the path of no fear
I know that love was missing in your life
You never saw your kids or your wife
But you have no idea how much I need you right now
But I will see you again one day some how
I want to say sorry for the pain I may have caused you
Just remember that I always loved you and I still do

Copyright © 2009 Karlien Jacobs

November 17, 2009

WHY

We always think it won't happen to us...
Then in an instant, without warning, it does.
We are left here on earth with our sadness and tears...
Because in that instant we realized our greatest fears.

We are sad and angry and want to know why...
God took our loved one to live in the sky.
In time our pain and anger will lessen...
And why will be answered when we get to Heaven.

Until then, hold on to your Faith and lean on those that love you...
Because God left them on Earth to help you get through.

Copyright © 2009 Melissa Johnson
A recent tragedy took place in the small town I come from and it got me to thinking just how fast our lives can be turned upside down.

November 17, 2009

I've been visiting my father for the last few weeks, as he is dying of liver cancer at 59. We lost our mother eight years ago to the same deadly disease at 49. I just don't understand why there is so much suffering.

Here I watch a strong man that has served in Vietnam as a Marine and worked for the same company for over 35 years lay helpless and out of control of his life. Each day it gets harder and harder to watch Dad slip away. I just wish I could put life on pause, just for a moment.

I needed a release so I called my soul mate and best friend. He listened to me as I cried and broke down just begging for more time with my father. He always has a way of calming me down and it's like he is inside my soul and can feel my pain. I wanted to share what he wrote.



I sit here and think...

What must it feel like... To look at someone's eyes and see your past leave you, in the blink of an eye, when you are just not ready to let go and you will fight every emotion and thought as your mind loses ground and the memories twirl up in the sky and all that is left is a flash.

What must that feel like... To know that something, you so desperately need to control, is so far out of your grasp that it weakens your inner core and leaves you winded for the hope of just one more moment.

What must that feel like...As my heart slowly drips your pain into reality, I can only imagine what it must feel like to experience the loss that you and your family are facing.

I wish I could take all the pain away from you just so you could be at peace with life for just one quick moment. It will be a long road but one thing that gives us both peace of mind... We love long journeys... I will be here for you every step of the way.

Written in 2009 by Jariel Morales
Submitted by Renee Simpson --- Florida

November 17, 2009

Gram, I keep the lights on, in case you do come home
The house is very lonely and I feel so all alone
I've counted down the days since you had to say goodbye
I go through my days trying not to cry
I'm trying to stay strong for the boys, they need me here
But I can't hold back the pain of wanting you near

I miss our daily late night talks all about our day
In which you do not tell, but you guide me the right way
If there were a way to talk to angels I'd bring you down to me
But as much as I talk, I know that you can see
So one day soon I hope, as the lights they burn so bright
That you will come home and turn them off, one by one, that night

Copyright © 2009 Melinda Stoll
I wrote this for my grandma - she raised me all of my life and she passed away in November 2008. It's been a year and the pain is still too great. I miss you grandma and I love you. If you could see, I wish you could just know that and be watching me from heaven. I miss you every day I wake up and every night I go to bed.

November 17, 2009

Oh!! Mom I Am Too Tired Today!

Oh!! Mom I am too tired today!!
The day, which I have never seen, the day before yesterday!!

Oh!! Mom I am too tired today!!
You knew I did not play too much in my childhood
Though you took care of me
Some things, which I wanted to share
But dad took away from me.

Those days could never change into good days.
Oh!! Mom I am too tired today!!

You knew I was growing with dreams in school time
But my life has changed when the things were not at all fine.
I came to know the days were gone
When I used to dream about family but dad left you alone.

Those days could never change into good days.
Oh!! Mom I am too tired today!!

You knew my life was no more in college
It seemed to me, as I am alone in a village
I tried my best to get rid of the past
But those images could not allow me to move fast.

Those days could never change into good days.
Oh!! Mom I am too tired today!!

You seemed to be happy after such a long time
When I got a job and saw you smile
Suddenly you burst out into tears
Because there was a pain with lots of fear

Those days could never change into good days.
Oh!! Mom I am too tired today!!

I knew the time had come when you got drained
Because the journey you lived on bumpy roads came to an end.
Now nobody knows how tired I am.
When you went and happiness clinched from my end.

Those days could never change into good days.
Oh!! Mom I am too tired today!!

I know you are up in heaven
To take care of everyone
Where there is another life
But for me there is no one.

Those days could never change into good days.
Oh!! Mom I am too tired today!!
Oh!! Mom I am too tired today!
Oh!! Mom I am too tired today...

Copyright © 2009 Joy Sankhala

November 17, 2009

May 29, 2005 was the day I felt that I would never live to see. There are times in our life where we as parents believe that we will never outlive our children. However, that thought did become a reality to my family and me. On that day, I lost my 4-year-old daughter, Bria, in a pool drowning.

My first thoughts were why me? I can't live like this. There is no place here for me anymore. Luckily, I had family who constantly prayed repeatedly. Then I had to think about my living son and how he deserved to have a mother to talk, listen, and hang out with. There were days that I would not come out of my room, because I was consumed with my tears with the absence of sleep, as I began to shut out the world around me.

Then there was a voice asking me, "If Bria were here what would you be doing?" She would want me to live my life as if she was here. So, I began to turn my pain into joy and knew I had to get it together for those around me.

I went back to school and church and dedicated more time to my son. I believe that by returning to my life full force, I am now a better person. I believe that the only reason that was possible was by the Grace of God. I will continue with all my future goals in life and live as if she is still here.

I know that I will meet her again in Heaven. That day is one that I cannot wait for.

Written by Deonesia Grays
Be sure to visit her website www.briashouse.net dedicated to kids water safety.

November 17, 2009

"I returned to the trough of despair: Thank God it was emptied."

Written in 2009 by Arthur Robinson --- North Carolina
It reflects human nature during its time of uncertainty.

November 17, 2009

Two years have past,
And yet so fresh in my memory to last.
You have suffered so much emotional pain,
Pain that no one could explain.

I was there to help take away your pain,
But you chose to relieve me of your pain.
God has taken away the best part of my life,
But you have given me the best four years of my life.

Rest in peace my Love,
Your troubles are no more!

Written in 2009 by Reesha Singh --- South Africa
My fiance committed suicide on September 10, 2007; 8 months before we could get married. He left behind a diary explaining his reasons. My best friend and I found him on that day, and until now, I cannot get that image out of my ahead. April 16, 2009 my dad passed away of natural causes in my presence. I've lived for my dad ever since the loss of my fiance and made my dad my world! How will I pick up and move on? It's terribly difficult!

November 17, 2009

Take Heart

Pal, Are your eyes filled with tears?
And your mind clogged by fears?
Finding many a thing taking you away?
And Life still holding you in its sway?
Take heart pal, life's best
Has not come yet...

Is your strength unseen?
And your efforts in vain?
Think you lost your track, your path?
And trying to find yourself in the dark?
Take heart pal, life's best
Has not come yet...

Have your dreams gone afar?
And your plans still in the hangar?
Feeling you are bogged down?
With no sight of your own crown?
Take heart pal, Life's best
Has not come yet...

Do you see yourself lag?
And with no plausible hog?
Getting shaky with the bumps?
With no visible way through the humps?
Take heart pal, Life's best
Has not come yet...

Finally my mate,
Never think you're late...

Remember:
Till the player is eager
The game is not over
Take heart pal,
Life's best
Has not come yet...

Copyright © 2009 Sam Vijay Kumar
Words of encouragement are needed by everyone, especially when we are hurting and low. How often we have heard someone say, "Do not give up"? True, life is challenging and words of encouragement help us to keep moving. Encouragement makes this world beautiful. Why not let us say to our friends, "The best is yet to come!"

November 17, 2009

"We all hit the bottom sometimes in our lives. But it's our decision do climb back again to see the Sun shining or stay there, in the bottom, grieving on our failures and how difficult it is to climb it. So, it's up to you. Get up and see the sun or stay down in the bottom of the well. What will you do?"

Copyright © 2009 Flavio Roloff

November 17, 2009

"Deleting someone from your life is sometimes easy, but shift delete cannot be possible."

Written in 2009 by Suchitra Pathare --- India
I wrote this when someone told me he will delete me from his life.

November 17, 2009

Love Never Disappears

Love never disappears for death is a non-event.
I have merely retired to the room next door.
You and I are the same; what we were for each other, we still are.
Speak to me as you always have,
Do not use a different tone, do not be sad.
Continue to laugh at what made us laugh.
Smile and think of me.
Life means what it has always meant.
The link is not severed.
Why should I be out of your soul if I am out of your sight?
I will wait for you; I am not here, but just on the other side of this path.
You see, all is well.

St. Augustine
Submitted by Elizabeth Meister --- Nebraska

November 17, 2009

The smile on your face keeps you young;
The Lord Jesus in your heart makes you smile;
Then, it lets others see Him through you!
If you don't give Him a place in your heart,
How can He make you peaceful?

Written in 2009 by Junkopan M. --- China
When the smile had gone from my face, it looked terrible! And I thought of Him.

November 17, 2009

"You could spend days, weeks, or even years debating over what could of, would of, or should of happened... or you could just move the heck on!"

Josh
Submitted by Tania T., Age 17 --- New Zealand
Several times I had tried to commit suicide. Then my best friend Josh said this to me. 1 year on I'm alive and well and even better; I'm happy again :) Never give up hope. Fight for everything you are and believe in because you are worth it, my friend. xox

November 17, 2009

I once heard there are many ways to lose a person...death being the kindest.

3 years ago I 'lost' my husband. There were no sympathy cards - although I think I bought myself one for validation - no dinners brought and no formal burial. Because when he died, it was not his physical body but his outstanding character (or so I thought) of who I had.

I am still in mourning and am still with him because sometimes, when we learn of the real person under the layers, they are just hiding and scared too and that sometimes in great death there comes new life.

We all need that umbrella of safe commitment from each other to grow. In pain and suffering you come to know God in a deeper way [Book 'shattered dreams']

In the end all that matter most for me is to know people change but the holy trinity never changes. If you want to be happy, no one can stop you.

Written in 2009 by Kathleen T. --- Washington

November 17, 2009

My Dad died when I was 17 (2002)...it wasn't my first death but it was so hard to deal with but I had my mum to help me through it. We got there in the end and around 2 years afterwards, I woke up one morning and I felt different...Life had changed. I'd stopped crying when I thought of my dad and started smiling when I remembered the great things about him. I stopped feeling sorry for myself that I only had him for 17 years and started feeling grateful that I had him.

Then in May last year, my mum passed away. She was my life and my everything. She had cancer, so me and my sister, my partner and our daughter looked after her at home. I wasn't there at the end, my sister was.

For a little while, I was angry that she was there and I wasn't because I'd promised my mum I would be. She asked me to be there to hold her hand...and I didn't do that for her.

We had her funeral and so many people came. It made me realize just how many people my mum had affected, even though through poor illness for over a decade she hardly left the house, our house was always full of laughter, people, and her. She was everywhere...in the walls, the ceilings.

It was hard going back there after the funeral and expecting to see her face, her croaky laughter telling me not to cry, to be strong. But amazingly...I feel the same now as I did about my dad, grateful; grateful that I had two parents who loved me.

Some people are lucky enough to have their parents for 60 years of their lives...others never meet them. Children in Africa die everyday from hunger, other children are beaten to death by parents who just don't care. I guess I'm not so unlucky after all.

Written in 2009 by Cat M. --- United Kingdom
I wanted people to realize that there is always someone worse off...always. Life could always be worse and life never just stops even though that's how it feels.

 

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