When you've seen a couple fighting or having a pity argument, what is the first thing that comes in your mind?
Probably you think that you will never allow arguments to set in your relationship (especially when you get married), or will never think to start one, but arguments seem to come naturally.
You argue about the brand of coffee, or what to eat at lunch, who will do the dishes, etc. Sometimes, more than that, but regardless of your reasons for the argument (or fight), patching up a troubled relationship and having a solution is very important.
Second to God, our partners are a believer's most valuable asset. Companions provide a listening ear for our troubles, support for our dreams, and a safety net when we fall. They give us love, even when we are unlovable. They are and must be our friends.
Inevitably, though, sometimes we go through troubled periods and a solution should be sought through the following steps:
- Address the situation. Acknowledge to your partner that something is amiss and needs to be fixed.
- Determine the problem. Together, discuss where the relationship veered off course and what wrongs may have been spoken or committed. Be honest and let your honesty be in its proper place. Remember, you are talking to your partner, another half of yourself.
- Apologize. As believers we accept responsibility for our actions and seek forgiveness.
- Refuse to blame. In addition, we must avoid defending ourselves. There could be a temptation to argue over who did what; however, the goal is not proving who is right but saving the relationship.
- Begin repairs. Ask, "What can I do to rebuild our closeness?" The key here is to do willingly whatever is requested.
- Commit to rebuilding. Immediately start investing your time, energy, and love in restoring the relationship.
Copyright © 2008 Lumie Rose N. Jawili --- Saudi Arabia