CHRISTMAS WITHOUT THEM



Will Christmas Ever be The Same Again?


Christmas wreath on the door


The night is clear and the air is crisp, snow falls gently on the ground. Tonight is Christmas Eve. Off in the distance I hear the voice of approaching carolers. They are too far away to hear the song they sing. I quickly close the door shutting out the sights and sounds of Christmas. Tonight is just too painful as I think of "Christmas Without Them".

Is Christmas ever the same when we are without our loved ones?

The traditions I have cherished since childhood have changed into something new and unexpected. As an adult, I find myself with feelings of a five year old, scared and alone. I have no mother or father to comfort me. Tears flow and I feel my heart breaking.

Sometimes, I find myself standing in the midst of strangers with tears running down my cheeks. Why is it so difficult to purchase candy canes and beautiful red bows?

I catch the glimpse of the shoppers, as they try not to stare, while others, forgetting they are strangers, stop to offer a knowing smile of understanding. I begin to realize I am not alone with these types of feelings. All of a sudden the memories come flooding in.

How fortunate I am to have such wonderful memories of my wonderful parents and the times we shared. Just as quickly as the memories brought tears the same memories resurfaced to spread joy. Memories have a way of making the emptiness bearable. I remember. I smile.

My thoughts are once again returned to the children. Their sounds of singing grow closer. I open my door to find their half- frozen faces, smiling brightly at me.

Christmas without them may never be the same, but, from out of the darkness pleasant memories flood my heart. I can almost hear my parents voices telling me the story of this most holy night. Like a message from above, I listen as the children sing, "Sleep in heavenly peace".

Copyright © 1999 Corky Ferguson --- Ohio

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