Life is filled with lots of fun. It comes with its share of struggles as well. Problems are an integral part of our lives. Problems are not bad always. Problems reshuffle our usual thought patterns and revamp our approach by getting us to think creatively so that we get to some resourceful results.
Hence, would it be discreet on our part to detest problems as if they were germs? And for that matter it is even proven scientifically that some germs (probiotics) are good for us. Problems come in many forms: career, habits, destructive thought patterns etc., and not in a few cases they take the form of humans.
Now, a significant proportion of problems in our life are caused by people; people who have a part-time job creating problems (have you met some one who does it full time? Ha ha ha! ). Simply put, they are 'Problem People'. They create... evolve... refurbish... and give life to problems.
You can meet such kinds of people anywhere... in our workplace, family, in traffic, the shopping mall or any other place of our interaction. And this one aspect, small as it seems to be, constitutes a noteworthy part of problems that we face. They bring petty, trivial, inconsequential issues and make problems out of it. It might be connecting your breakfast, your car, electricity bill, official document, shopping list, and so on.
Now that need not daunt us, if we are willing to be constructive and prepared to work on this, regardless of all the stops and weariness that we would encounter in the course. We have just one expense for such a project - our sweat; I mean our relentless effort. Now let us get to the issue at hand - Knowing why problem people are the way they are.
Before starting, we should fully and consciously realize that they too are fellow humans like us and that they need not be looked down on. Hence it is important that we never take a 'holier than thou' stance, which would not solve problems but instead aggravate them.
Research has shown that a proportion of the population, unfortunately, are habituated to create problems. The problems they create may range from personal to social to professional ones. The reason scientists give is quite extensive and usually goes to early years of a person:
These people in most cases are from a finicky environment. Importantly, many who are into such a habit of creating problems do so without intending any harm. Maybe the surroundings in which they were raised had contributed... maybe their friends, associates and so on. Maybe they continually saw people bring up insignificant, silly, paltry issues, blow them into big mountains, then sat at their feet and lamented. It might have been his/her family member(s) or neighbor(s) who kept on such an activity which finally got ingrained in him/her, that living with such a high strung mentality is the way to live. So they tend to carry such an attitude into later life causing heartaches to themselves as well as others.
Now, if we happen to be in association with such people, we have to take up a responsible role - 'Solution Suppliers'.
Are we ready for the role, tough as it is or seems to be? We should not cringe and back away but take a resolute stance in dealing with them and provide amicable solutions.
When a problem creator brings up an insignificant issue there are many ways of tackling it (each way is unique and suiting certain kinds of problems, so prudence has to be exercised in choosing the way that will suit one's problem). A few of them are:
Laughing it off. Make constructive fun out of the situation, laugh out loud and avoid the ill effects. Somebody said wittily - "Laugh at your problems; everybody else does". It, sure works!
Zipping our mouth. We have to be very careful in using our words in such situations. We can't afford to pour gasoline over the already burning, unneeded problems by wrong words. At times even silence does reward you.
Taking a brisk walk. Taking a brisk walk would help us handle many issues better as walking helps to drain the blood away from the emotional centers in the brain thus aiding us to think without becoming panicky.
A friend in need. A call to an old friend would for some time take us away into a world of good-old memories and fun, thus getting us rejuvenated and pragmatic.
Get creative. Take a book and retire (may be scriptural, novel, anything that touches the soul and heart). Maybe it's time you tune your guitar again or start your strokes on the canvas or do anything you are creative at.
Voice it low. When you converse always keep a low volume, for as the Bible says "a soft answer will turn away wrath" and helps you be in control of the situation.
Self analysis. If we analyze and find ourselves to be among the Problem creators, we need not sit and whine. We need not feel inferior either. We just need to develop patience (meditation, music and exercise help).
Self affirmation. This helps people in both the groups. Talking positively to ourselves will increase our self esteem and confidence thereby resulting in a total change of our approach and personality.
Never nurture the nemesis. Another suggestion that has been passed on for centuries. Never crumble down before problem creators, for in doing so we essentially give their activities power over us, which encourages them. We have to make it known to them at every point in polite and acceptable ways that it is time they stop their activities and that we are not going to be affected by them anymore.
Giving up is not an option. Solutions come to those who keep working on their problems. We must also remember that solutions don't just come in a day or two. Maybe it can take weeks, months or even longer. Let us remember what Albert Einstein said "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer".
Sam is a researcher fellow at Christian Medical College in Vellore, working on finding a cure for cancer. A bright mind and kind heart, Sam continually looks for ways to help people keep their attitudes positive.
Sam would appreciate any feedback: Email Us