Patricia and I share a common thread. We will each be without our mothers this Christmas. She lost her mother three months ago.
This will actually be my second Christmas without my mother but I cannot recall Christmas 1998. My loss was too fresh and my mind had refused to accept the fact. I had just said goodbye December 9th and the 25th just came and went.
Christmas 1999 was quickly approaching and I found myself dreading the decorating and the holiday shopping. Before I could think about Christmas I had to experience the first anniversary of my mother's death. On "that" day I received a letter from Patricia that filled my heart with sunshine. I wasted no time in replying.
"Of course I remember you!" I typed to Patricia. She had been an online angel I had met several months before. Time had slipped by and I had neglected to keep in touch. At that moment I felt so guilty! She had lost her mother exactly three months ago but she had remembered me.
I wanted to reply, "How are you?" But, I knew only too well those feelings of suddenly being left motherless. "I wish I knew the magic words to say but, if I did I would talk to myself," I typed to her.
Patricia continued to share her heart with me. She confided, "I am still sort of in a fog- Having a hard time realizing she is gone and that this is real." "When I read your poem about your mamma's hands the tears could not be held back .what a blessed gift it would be if we could only touch our mom's hands for a split second."
She spoke to me of her mother's beautiful hands and how age had spotted them. I know that we both realize what our mother's hands had provided for us over the years.
"I can close my eyes and see the way the house was decorated year after year-everything in a certain place-I can almost smell that chicken frying and see her in her Christmas apron-and always with a barrette of some holiday sort in her hair," she recalled.
She apologizes for what she called "ramble" but, to me her words from the heart painted a beautiful picture. I found myself telling her what had happened earlier the night before. From someplace out of the blue I recalled a conversation mom and I had shared the month before she died.
She hinted that she would like a white Christmas tree decorated only in gold and white. We made plans to trim the tree together which never had the chance to become reality. On the night of December 8th, Mamma had the tree that she had wished for. I put up the tree and strung the white lights and added golden trim. It is one of the prettiest trees I have seen. It is bright, golden and seems to shine with love.
The 9th was a lot easier. Each time I looked at Mamma's tree, I realize that losing is a part of loving and that my heart aches because I love so deeply.
I am thankful for memories. Because of memories, our loved ones are forever near. I hope that our stories brought a smile to someone's face. If you have wonderful memories hold them close in your heart. Relive them over and over.
If there is someone in your life you truly love, why not take a moment and make a memory for
them to treasure?