KEEP ON GOING

June 1, 2001

I am sure most of you teens out there have gone through a time in your life when you were convinced that there was no point in going on. For me, this time after my girlfriend of a year broke up with me in grade 11. I was at a loss, for the last year I had completely blocked out all of my friends and everything around me and I was left with nothing but self pity and no one to even comfort me.

Sure, I had my parents, but they didn't understand. From my dad I received a 'Suck it up." From my mom a 'She isn't good enough for you anyway.' Sure, they were nice, but that didn't tell me anything about why it happened. Why was the one person I had the ability to get close to, have to leave me now?

I was in a time of depression and the last thing I need was solidarity. Being very religious, I prayed to God every night to take away the pain I was feeling in my heart and in my soul, but to no avail. Why was God abandoning me? Why was he forcing me through this living hell? I needed some answers but I was receiving hurt. Why wasn't I getting the responses I wanted? Why did God do it to me?

The Bible says not to question God, but that was the last thing on my mind at that time. For weeks, I moped around the house, making my frustration known with anyone who I came in contact with. My 'soul mate', who I was determined to marry, was now gone and I was left with nothing!

Then, about two weeks later, I was working at the local grocery store when a co-worker who I had not previously spoken to, approached me and offered me the most amazing talk ever. He was someone who I had hated all summer and now all of a sudden, he was approaching me and I was opening my entire soul to him, without even questioning it.

For the next two or three weeks, he quickly became my best friend. The talks we had became more frequent and after a couple of days I learned he had experienced a lot of the same things I had. He was able to offer me a non-judgemental view of the situation and that was what I needed. He became my crutch to get me through everything and slowly I realized that putting all of my faith in one female was not the way to go through a relationship.

Two years later, I still miss my first love. We don't talk much anymore, but I can see why. I am able to take myself out of the situation now and realize what had to be learned from that relationship. God was with me the entire time. He took me out of the relationship for my own good.

Shortly after the break up, she became heavily involved in alcohol and various other activities I would never degrade myself into doing. As for the best friend, him and I are still closer than most friends ever dream to be, which is odd for a male friendship. We are able to discuss everything and he is always there anytime I need anything.

But, would I have had a desire to talk to him without the break up? No! God used the situation to bring this young man into my life and I can't thank God enough for that. If it came to a choice, I would gladly choose having a best friend than going back into that relationship. She was nothing more than a learning experience for me and now I know the qualities that I need to possess when entering a relationship and it has prepared me more than ever imaginable.

For those of you out there that have just broken up with a girl, or something terrible has happened and you are considering suicide (as I did) or you just plain hate your life, I offer you this bit of encouragement:

Everything happens for a reason, however invisible it is at the time, just keep that in mind. God works in mysterious ways and though your situation may look bad at the time, take the view of third person and understand what you are potentially learning from it. Keep smiling and NEVER give up hope. Suicide is giving up, persevere and be courageous, things get better.

--- Copyright © 2001 Ryan McClean

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