Sometimes I wonder why I made all these sacrifices in order to be a better person. This thought always crossed my mind. The only motivating factor I held on to was that it will be worth it in the end.
Everything of value needed extreme effort from those who believed in it.
I guess I couldn't escape from the effort part.
So, here is what I did, in order to create the method that I was going to use to improve my behavior towards my marriage.
- I was going to find a person who was already practicing the right behavior constantly.
- I was going keep a daily journal to record different situations I found myself and how often I used the needed behavior to handle that situation
- I needed to find someone who wanted to improve in that behavior as well
To go on this quest, I needed:
A Fast(in) Guide : Someone who already had the behavior I wanted
A Fast(in) Comrade : Someone who wanted to improve on that behavior as well
A Book of Quests : A daily journal to record events I faced and how often I used that behavior for different situations
I was getting really excited.
I decided to select the following people:
A Fast(in) Guide : I had an uncle who I envied because of how he handled himself with his wife. He definitely had the behavior traits I needed to improve on.
A Fast(in) Comrade : I had a colleague at work who was married and seemed to have the same problems as I did, so he saw it fit to join me on this quest on becoming better husbands.
A Fast(in) Book of Quests : I have to keep a journal on what I did daily in my marriage and how often I began to use the right behavior for different situations I found myself in.
Also, I kept in touch with my Fast(in) Guide and Comrade. We listened, shared and encouraged each other on different situations we found ourselves in. It was good to know that I was not facing this problem alone and there was someone who had succeeded where I needed to, so it was possible for me to do the same.
What I loved about this quest was that my wife noticed those changes, but did not say anything for a long time. It is as if she wanted to be sure it was really happening.
Finally, when she couldn't take it anymore; she waited for me to get home from work and then asked me to go for a walk with her, after I had rested and eaten dinner.
It was about 8pm that night. As we talked on the street corner, holding hands and enjoying the cool night breeze, she asked what had happened to me. She said I had changed tremendously. She even tried to confirm if I was really her husband and not a twin or alien. She had to know.
I told her what I did and how I had decided to go on this Fast(in) QUEST, how I had gotten a guide, a comrade and a book of quests to record my daily progress.
She loved the idea and then asked, "Since everyone had a name and a role, what was my name?"
It did not occur to me at the time on what to call myself, so I just said: I am A Fast(in) QUESTER.
It had a catchy phrase, I liked it : Fast(in) QUESTER
She said she too wanted to go on a Fast(in) Quest and asked me to show her what I did to start the quest.
I thought of a better idea. "Why not ask the entire family to go on their own different Fast(in) QUESTS?" I suggested.
We had 4 children at the time:
- Kwame ( A Student ) He was still living with us
- Matilda ( An Employee )
- Chuk ( A Business owner )
- Joan ( A Wife and Mother )
The moment we got home, we contacted all of them and asked that they come home for a weekend dinner; that we had a wonderful idea and we want all of them to take part in it.
They all agreed to come home and hear what I had discovered and used to help my marriage. Hopefully they all would be able to use it in their different worlds.
In the next letter I would tell you how each person became a Fast(in) Quester and the journey they began to be better at what they all did in life, work and school.
Remember, your Culture is everything.
Copyright © 2011 HiZen-3 Ltd
This story is a series of letters written by Segun Cadmus, Manager, HiZen-3 Ltd, a company created to be the Ultimate guide in Culture Management at work and life. Please visit us at: http://www.hizenworld.com for more information about what we do.
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